PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
