used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
