do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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