Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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