he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
porn star boner night. come get it.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
