OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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