Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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