I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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