I think i peed on brittanys purse
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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