How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
