At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i dont even know how to be here
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
