He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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