I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize