We won't sleep together?
Swine flu. Run for my life!
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Boobs speak an international language.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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