no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
