My girlfriend figured out who you are.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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