i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
