just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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