Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
