Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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