The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
is wine microwaveable?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
