I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
