when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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