I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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