i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
