In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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