dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Need sex. Gaining weight.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
