my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's just like the Real World with babies
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize