Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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