I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
