remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
