Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
