he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
