I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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