And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
