I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
