he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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