A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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