just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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