the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
