I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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