Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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