I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
