if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
