i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
