On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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