but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
