Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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