well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize