Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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