Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Randomize
