you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
