3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
