It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize