she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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