I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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