I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
