Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
