I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
