I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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