I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can feel your judgement through the phone
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
