I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
