I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
