Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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