Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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