Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
