I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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