We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
