Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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