I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
i think i have herpe
just one?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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