You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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