Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
