she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
