i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
