As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
soo... how was my night?
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