I heard we made out
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
