Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Actions speak louder than pants.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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