Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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